Through the Turbulence

Verizon IndyCar Series blog covering news, opinions, and multimedia.

admin On May - 6 - 2011

After hearing reports about the vote to delay aero-kits until 2013 I wanted to get more insight from an IndyCar team owner. We met on a private runway at an undisclosed location. His assistant was waiting in a stretched Hummer limousine to greet me. The assistant we’ll call him James, asked me to keep the owner’s name confidential, I agreed. So he will be known as Mr. Black. James asked me to get into the limo so he could take me to Mr. Black’s private jet parked in one of the hangars. I was more than happy to. The plane was magnificent, parked alongside the plane was a helicopter. I entered the plane and was greeted by Mr. Black. I introduced myself and we began the interview.

Me: Good morning Mr. Black. I’m here today to get some of your thoughts about the 15-0 vote in Brazil to delay the aero-kits until 2013. Why wait until 2013 when the fans have been waiting for so long to see different cars on the grid?

Mr. Black: Well Mark

Me: It’s Matt Sir

Mr. Black: All the owners have discussed this and we just plain and simple can’t afford to do it right now. We’re barely able to make ends meet, the economy is bad and [long pause] Tito can you see my caviar plate is empty [his waiter rushes out with more caviar] where was I?

Me: You were talking about the economy.

Mr. Black: Oh yea, it’s rough. All of us owners agree. We’re barely making it now in this tough economic environment. We’ll be getting out of our comfort zone if we have to spend that amount of money. And I like being comfortable Mark. See these shoes, cost me $5,000 buddy. Best most comfortable shoes I could find. If your feet aren’t comfortable, makes the rest of your body hurt.

Me: Nice shoes

Me: What about the fans, they aren’t happy about this decision at all.

Mr. Black: Glad you brought that up. We’re monitoring a fan poll at about the aero-kit decision. Aren’t we James?

James: [punching buttons furiously on the laptop] Yes Sir, right now we, I mean umm the fans are up over 90% in favor of delaying the aero-kits.

Mr. Black: Great news James. See Mark the fans love to wait. Anyway if not they’ll get over it, maybe I’ll give them free hats or something at Indy. You know the fans they go ape shit when they get free stuff. HA, they’re great. I love the fans.

Me: Many fans are barely hanging on when it comes to giving up on IndyCar. There’s a few fans that are still watching from the old CART days that want the technology and performance of those cars.

Mr. Black: Really, they’re still around. What are they zombies? [laughs hysterically to himself].

Me: So bottom line, the fans will have to wait until 2013 to see different body styles?

Mr. Black: I’m deeply saddened to say yes. Caviar? Here’s a hat, be sure to root for us at Indy. We’re gonna rock the joint.

And with that we said our goodbyes. Mr. Black escorted me off the plane. As I head back to the limo with James waiting I turn and look. Watching Mr. Black walk up the stairs of the private jet, I notice something. A gaping hole in the backside of his pants. Then I think to myself, maybe he should have invested as much in his clothes as he did his shoes.


Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction.

Categories: Commentary

2 Responses

  1. ACLARKIN says:

    LMAO! That was great! I could actually picture this coversation between you and Mr. Black.

  2. Spike Rogan says:

    I lmao at that Mark,…..I mean Matt.

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